I’m often asked the question ‘How do I stop my toddler twin from biting/scratching the other?’ Or ‘my toddler from biting/scratching the baby?’.
Why is it happening. Clearly the Toddler resents the attention the new baby is getting from THEIR Mum and if one of twins they would like ALL the attention instead of just some! So often we concentrate on the attacker who gets – at least – negative attention, which may prove just as rewarding as positive attention. The answer is to redress the balance. It’s best to start when two parents or grownups are available, possibly at the weekend. Give attention to the victim and remove the biter to their room or place in a playpen for five minutes, having said a firm ‘NO’. Ignore protests, and continue giving attention to the other child.
If it occurs in a shared bedroom and there is no other separate room available, then bring the child who is being attacked into your room for a week or two. If it then starts again, ignore the attacking toddler except for a firm ‘NO’ and lavish attention on the wounded child and take them with you into your room. The attacker will soon learn that he is losing the attention battle when he finds he is only succeeding in giving the other child more attention from the grownups. (If you have a spare room, split the children up).